


nothing's that bad if it feels good

by calthighway



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, M/M, bent!cop callum, little smut (cringe)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23805247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calthighway/pseuds/calthighway
Summary: “It can be our little secret,” Ben teases, getting to his feet. “Didn’t have ya down as a bent cop.”“I ain’t bent!” Callum steps away. “I’ve come for my car, and that’s it. I ain’t seen anything, alright?”“So you ain’t interested in working for me?”
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 93





	nothing's that bad if it feels good

**Author's Note:**

> this was written on little sleep and rushed a little because ive been promising this to luisa for ages now, so i had to just get it done because she’s been so patient and kind (as always) so it’s terrible...
> 
> anyway, this is for @lucres on tumblr. hope you enjoy x

Callum’s not sure why he feels like the world is against him when his car breaks down, but he feels it is.

Maybe it’s because he’s got a brother who doesn’t want him following his dream of being a copper, and now that he is, he feels his younger brothers going to get hurt.

He can look after himself. He’s sick of saying it, so he’ll prove it instead. He’ll make a name for himself in the force, he’ll move up in the ranks and he’ll make Stuart proud.

He bangs his hands against the steering wheel, he’s got less than an hour to get to work. He searches google on his phone for the nearest garage and phones _The Arches._

Ten minutes later and a van is pulling up, Callum gets out and tries to smile politely, but times getting on and the guy walking over to him doesn’t seem to be in much of a hurry.

“Can ya make it quick?” Callum near enough pleads, “gotta get to work.”

The guy stares at him, shrugs a little before opening the bonnet. “Depends what the problem is, mate.”

Callum sighs, “right, sure. I’ll just phone a taxi.”

Then Callum’s faced with the shorter guy again, his hands already dirty. “A fuse has blown,” Ben nods back to the car, “save ya money, I’ll get ya baby on to the back of the van and take ya to work-“

“No, honestly I can-“

“I’m not often this nice,” the guys smirks. “Take the offer before I change my mind.”

Callum nods, smiles shyly before grabbing his things out of his car and watches on as his car is put onto the back of the van.

“Make a habit of getting into strangers vans?”

Callum huffs, frowning, “ _you_ said-“

“It’s a joke. I’m joking,” and then there’s a smile that makes Callum look away and out the window. “So where we headed?”

“Walford Police Station,” Callum says, eyes still on the road ahead.

He feels eyes burn into the side of his head, turns to see a not so pleasant face looking back at him. “Take it you’re another one who don’t like cops then?”

“Something like that,” the rest of the journey is in silence until they’re outside the station. “Take this and I’ll call ya when your cars ready.”

Callum looks down at the small business card, sees the name on there and then looks up, “thanks, Ben.”

Ben still doesn’t speak, but makes a point of holding onto the card tighter when Callum tries to take it from him.

Some kind of silent tug of war that Callum’s not had the memo for.

When Ben finally lets go, he smiles at Callum, but it’s not one of kindness.

It looks dangerous, sends a shiver down Callum’s spine and he can’t help but look back before heading into work.

*

Two days later and Callum’s collecting his car, knocks on the closed door and walks into _The Arches_.

Maybe he should have waited before just going inside, because what he sees isn’t legit and most definitely doesn’t involve fixing cars.

A man stands over Ben, a brown envelope in his hand, it looks heated until he’s turning towards Callum and back at Ben like he’s been set up.

It happens too quickly, Ben’s being head butted and knocked to the floor and then Callum’s being ran at, and no matter how much training he’s had, all he can do is stand there numb.

“Grab the money!” Ben shouts from the ground behind them and it’s enough to make Callum get him in a headlock, fight for battle and Callum’s sure he’s going to lose it, but he feels something ball up inside him that makes him grab tighter and he wins.

He should be running after the guy, he _should_ call the police, but he does neither.

He watches Ben get to his feet, his hand over his nose and he groans in pain, but he looks over at Callum, grins when he sees the envelope in Callum’s hand. “I’m impressed,” Ben laughs, stumbling over to sit down. “Didn’t think ya had it in ya.”

Callum drops the envelope onto the table, feels like a criminal and he’s been dragged into something he doesn’t want to be part of. “What was all that about?”

“Just business,” Ben wipes his bloodied nose with a tissue. “A life in the day of Ben Mitchell.”

 _Ben Mitchell_.

Callum’s had a lot on with work, but he should have known who he was when he met him two days ago. He should have recognised the name straight away, but nothing clicked.

“You’re wanted,” Callum breathes. “You’re a wanted man and I didn’t even realise it was _you.”_

Callum’s angry at himself, digs the palms of his hands into his eyes, “now I’ve got myself involved in your mess!”

“It can be our little secret,” Ben teases, getting to his feet. “Didn’t have ya down as a bent cop.”

“I ain’t bent!” Callum steps away. “I’ve come for my car, and that’s it. I ain’t seen anything, alright?”

“So you ain’t interested in working for me?”

Callum’s eyes widen, “did ya listen to anything I just said?”

Ben holds his hands up before getting Callum’s car keys and throwing them at him. “Shame, but I get it. This kind of business ain’t for everyone.”

“Ya call breaking the law _business_?” Callum hates how intense Ben’s stare is, “anyway, thanks for the… car.”

When Ben smiles at Callum this time, it’s softer and despite what he knows, Callum doesn’t feel what he felt last time. “It’s my job… PC?”

Callum gives his name too freely, “Highway. Callum Highway.”

Ben blinks softly, the smile still on his lips, and something about Ben being not so _arrogant_ makes Callum smile back a little.

“Hopefully won’t be seeing ya again. No offence.”

Callum shouldn’t let what Ben says make him laugh, but it feels like a breath of fresh air amongst the madness of it all, and so he laughs back, his eyes on the floor.

“Stay out of trouble then and ya won’t have to.”

Ben grimaces, “can’t make any promises.”

*

Callum’s glad Ben didn’t make any promises.

He’s involved in stealing cars and he’s close to getting caught, just not close enough. Luck on his side once more.

And then Callum’s receiving phone calls, an unknown number, but something tells him he knows who it is. He ignores them at first, he meant what he said, he isn’t getting involved. He ain’t _bent._

But the calls become more frequent, and Callum realises they aren’t going to stop.

It’s been a long day, this is the last thing he wants to deal with, but intrigue gets the better of him and so he answers on the third phone call that night.

“What?” Callum whispers, he’s alone in his flat, but this is wrong and doing this just because it _intrigues_ him is laughable.

“Ya know how to answer your phone then?” Ben snaps back.

“Ya shouldn’t be phoning me in the first place,” Callum shakes his head. “I told ya-“

“I know what ya told me, doesn’t mean I have to listen,” and Ben’s arrogance makes Callum want to hang up and block his number. “I think ya secretly like all this.”

“Think what ya like,” Callum licks his lips, “ya don’t know me.”

“I need ya to keep your lot off my back. I’ve got a job tonight-“

“Ben. I don’t think ya should be telling me all this,” Callum bites his lip. “They’re already after you, what can I do to stop them?”

“Use that imagination of yours,” Ben utters. “I know ya ain’t just a pretty face.”

Callum doesn’t have time to refuse, Ben already hanging up and turning off his phone so Callum can’t get in touch with him.

Callum shouldn’t even be thinking about it – about what kind of things he could do to stop them chasing Ben.

_I know ya ain’t just a pretty face._

Callum also try’s not to think about that, too.

*

It’s hard when you’ve got a sergeant pushing for an arrest on one of East Ends most wanted criminals.

It adds even extra weight when said sergeant thinks the sun shines from you - someone who praises you daily and welcomed you with a massive pat on the back.

But it’s how he manages to take the limelight away from Ben for the day. They end up focusing on a GBH charge because Callum follows up on a lead and they end up arresting two guys for it.

**_Ben 00:15_ **

_Ya did it then? Good boy. Let me take ya for a drink?_

**_Callum 00:17_ **

_Ya must be joking? I’m risking my career here, Ben. It’s not a joke._

**_Ben 00:22_ **

_I’m not laughing_

**_Callum 00: 26_ **

_Yeah right. You’re loving this_

**_Ben 00:30_ **

_Alright. Maybe a little. Please? One drink_

**_Callum 00:45_ **

_No. I ain’t lying for ya anymore and I don’t want to be involved in whatever you’ve got going on_

**_Ben 00:47_ **

_It’s too late, you already are_

*  
The following night Callum finds himself in Ben’s orbit again. Ben’s all smiles, sparkling eyes and Callum’s not sure why he brought himself here.

“I knew I could rely on ya,” Ben offers him a drink, swirling the brown liquid in his glass. “Not just a pretty face are you, Callum?” 

Callum gulps down his drink, licks his lips. “It might not be so easy next time.”

“So there will be a next time?” Ben quirks an eyebrow, “glad to hear it.”

“No,” Callum lies. “I ain’t lying anymore -“

Ben steps closer, fakes a yawn and then shakes his head patronisingly. “But you will, Callum. You will, and it’ll make you feel alive because ya get a thrill out if it, don’t ya? You like the fun, the danger of it all.” Ben smells the aftershave on Callum, his tongue close to tasting. “You like _this_.”

Ben’s like a fire - he gives you the power to stay warm, but when you get close enough the dangers there to get burnt.

Callum realises that now. His words mean nothing when his actions go against everything else.

“Why bring me here?” Callum asks, lights of yellow and red dancing over Ben’s face.

“What? A bar?”

“ _No._ It ain’t just any bar, is it?” Callum looks around them.

“I’m a man of many businesses, Callum. Not all illegal,” Ben shrugs. “You _can_ say the word, ya know. It’s a _gay_ bar, didn’t realise you’d have such a problem.”

“I don’t,” Callum downs his drink. Callum’s not open about his sexuality, maybe it’s more obvious than he realised. “How did ya know?”

“I see myself in you,” Ben smirks, letting himself laugh when Callum laughs, too. The wall around him falling brick by brick and all because of the man in front of him. “Want to take these around the back? It’s quieter.”

Callum’s knows there’s implications there, feels his body moving before he speaks. “Yeah.”

Callum feels brave enough to get burnt.

*

“You must make a killing with this place?” Callum asks, sitting on the edge of the couch in Ben’s office.

“It helps,” Ben pours them a drink. “The other stuff is what let’s me drive around in a BMW.”

“Show off,” Callum rolls his, taking the offer of Ben’s shot of whiskey.

“Boys and their cars, don’t say you wouldn’t show off if ya had the chance,” Ben knocks his glass with Callum’s before knocking back the shot.

“Maybe. Guess I’ll never know,” Callum takes a drink, pulling an unpleasant face at the burning in his throat.

“Ya could. If you worked for me ya could have it all.”

Callum snorts a laugh, “don’t be stupid. I’ve already said I ain’t-“

“So why are ya wasting my time?” Ben’s stare turns dark. “Ya do everything I ask ya to. You come here tonight, ya let yourself have these moments Callum, and then you walk away as if it’s enough, but ya know it’ll _never_ be enough because there’s something inside ya. You see me, thing is, I see you, too.”

Callum’s not sure when or how Ben got so close, but he’s stood over Callum, his knee touching his thigh. “Dance with the beast, Callum.”

Callum’s heart beats faster in his chest, Ben’s eyes locked on his lips – waiting, letting Callum make the move.

“I can’t,” Callum whispers.

Ben blows out a breath, and it’s the first sign of nerves Callum’s seen, “but you want to,” Ben nostrils flare. “Doesn’t what ya want matter?”

Callum already knows the answer, his hand gripping around Ben’s wrist and getting to his feet to spin them around.

Ben sits on the edge of the couch, chin raised and lips half pouted, Callum admires him for all that he is. He takes a hold of Ben’s face into his hands as he crashes their mouths together - shows Ben he isn’t scared. Shows him he can take what he wants.

He kisses him, tongue hungry in his mouth as his hands travel lower until they reach Ben’s belt.

Ben’s hands tighten in Callum’s hair when Callum’s hand goes under his boxers and wraps around his semi hard cock.

Ben moans into Callum’s mouth until Callum’s on his knees and taking him into his mouth.

It’s over quickly and Ben begs Callum not to leave with his eyes - wouldn’t dare do it verbally, but it works. They smile at each other when Callum stays.

*

**2 months later**

“You’re asking me to change who I am,” Ben turns away from Callum, stares up at the ceiling in Ben’s bedroom.

“I can’t ask ya to change, and I don’t want ya to,” Callum’s hand covers Ben’s. “Just asking ya to be more careful. Maybe do less deals.”

“I ain’t letting people down,” Ben clicks his jaw. “I ain’t ruining everything I have for… for _this.”_

“Right,” Callum moves his hand away, gets up to start getting dressed. “I thought you’d at least try and get where I’m coming from.”

“When did ya get so fucking vanilla?” Ben bites, sitting up himself, and he’s angry because he wants that to wash over the dread of watching Callum walk out on him, but he doesn’t help matters when his tongue is so vicious.

Callum stops what he’s doing, and Ben sees the pain in his eyes. “Maybe when you let me fall for ya.”

Ben knew it, but it’s the first time any kind of feelings have been voiced and it shocks him into silence.

“I don’t want to lose ya, alright? I don’t want to face the fact one day you’ll be put into jail for years and I won’t see ya. Or even worse-“

“ _Nothing_ like that is going to happen, alright?”

But it might. It nearly has and it probably will again.

“I don’t want to do this anymore, Ben. I don’t want to live in fear, be the last thing you think about when you’re the first thing always on my mind, when you’re the only thing I can think about.” Callum’s T-shirt crumples in his hands as the words tumble out, “just because I’m nice doesn’t mean I’ll keep putting up with this.”

Maybe this is what Ben needed to hear, because he doesn’t want to know what a life without Callum in it feels like anymore.

He wants to keep _this._

“I’ll do better,” Ben nods, getting out of bed and standing close to Callum, his hands on his soft belly. “You deserve better.”

Callum sighs, dropping his T-shirt to the floor and putting his hands on Ben’s waist. “I decide what I deserve,” before pulling Ben into him and kissing a desperation out of him like never before.

Ben won’t argue it, he’ll just hold on tight and wonder if this is what love feels like.

*

**2 years later**

“Constable, I’ve been a bad boy again.”

Callum groans, hides his face in one of the kitchen cupboards as he gets plates out for food.

“What have ya done now?”

“Six grand deal,” Ben says happily. “Still got it.”

Callum rolls his eyes, “I know Ben, I’ve spent the past two years saving your sexy arse.”

Ben laughs, “yeah, but I love you for it.”

Callum turn then, takes slow steps up to him, “I love you, too.”

In two years, Callum’s moved up the ranks.

In two years, Ben’s business have moved out of East London, mostly has people working for him now.

In two years, Callum’s still lying for Ben, only now, he does it out of love and protection.

In two years, they’ve found each other, peace, understanding and love.

Now, the world is on _their_ side.


End file.
